In my past stuff has happened that I felt guilty about: guilty for not having prevented it, guilty for not having stopped it. Even blaming myself for letting it happen... This blame was always there at one level or another, roaming around the corridors of my conscience: sometimes stored away for a while, then suddenly popping out of nowhere, jumping in my face. The older I got, the harder I was on myself: I should have known better!
This really undermined how I saw myself and how I felt about myself. Until one day my psychologist gave me a new perspective on things...
She told me to imagine myself as a little girl, the same age I was when this stuff happened, walking up to me and telling me my own story, as if it was now happening to her... What would my reaction then be? Would I tell her all the things I was telling myself? Would I blame her? Would I dislike her for it?
Yeah, well, no, of course I wouldn't! I'd tell her it wasn't her fault, that she wasn't to blame... that it was very brave of her to tell me... and at that same time I also could see why I never told anyone, until now...
Eye opener in the highest degree
Life lesson learned
Don't be harder on yourself than you would someone else... Judge things happening or that happened in the past with the correct frame of reference... So yes, I did write the first paragraph in the past tense: I don't blame myself anymore, and I have gotten a little easier on myself. It still needs work, but hey, a small step each day gets you pretty far in the end ;-)
Just thought I would share :-)
Have a happy day!
"Don't be harder on yourself than you would someone else"
ReplyDeleteThat is so true - pity we don't all follow it. I'm trying, too.
Kudos for a very insightful post Leo xx